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[29 Mar 2008|10:48pm] |
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I miss chicago.
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[09 Dec 2007|02:08pm] |
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music |
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mercy me; there's a reason |
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so the last truly important semester of high school is almost complete,
but I know I won't slack off until college auditions are over, because that's when it's truly just waiting to graduate for me.
I'm not nearly stressed about exams as I was this time last year.
I made all-state. finally. and I had a sucky audition, too. I'm really excited about april.
december 30th. trans-siberian orchestra concert!
oh, and I refuse to be simply "agreeable" in church any longer.
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| more later. |
[11 Nov 2007|11:28pm] |
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music |
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hosea 6: 1, 3 |
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the last time I updated this was in june.
I'm thankful for the beautiful people in my life.
goal for tomorrow: get my college applications done.
I feel like I'm a failure because I haven't sent in any yet.
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[24 Jun 2007|09:14pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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pride and prejudice. :D :D |
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so this past week at ISYM on the campus of university of illinois was a lot of fun.
the campus was positively huge, and there was a lot of walking involved,
but the faculty that I worked with was really nice.
the flute studio there isn't very large, and the professor only takes about four freshman a year,
and the music department has about 800 students total; undergrad and grad.
the university is still a possibility for me,
but I don't want to be considered a number, and frankly, out of state tuition is an absolute bitch.
the people that I met at ISYM were wonderful, though.
I made a lot of new friends that I will sadly probably never see again,
just because they all live at least five and a half hours away from me.
it's sad, but I learned how to say "chicago" with a northern sound to it.
and apparently changed people's impressions of the south: "you're not a hick at all!"
I've started pros and cons lists for each of the colleges I'm interested in.
it's so hard to believe it's becoming serious now,
not just the casual research that I was doing before.
I'm nonetheless excited.
...there is now a bit more definition for the future,
but prayers are still very much so needed.
and hang out time with everyone is a must.
pleasekthanks.
goodnight, everyone. <3
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[13 Jun 2007|11:14pm] |
if your'e the praying sort,
will you pray for me, and my brother, and my mom, and my dad?
thank you.
I leave for illinois saturday, and will be back the following saturday,
and already know that I'm going to want to be out of the house as much as possible; so,
if you have any kind of notion to hang out with me, call me!
it's greatly appreciated.
love, jill. <3
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[04 Jun 2007|08:19pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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music |
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konstantine |
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summer has been great so far.
it's so amazing to literally have no stress whatsoever, but at the same time, I think I got so used to always being moving and stressing out, that I don't really know what to do with myself.
so I practice, read, spend time with friends, and work instead to keep myself occupied.
I don't want to become lazy this summer.
scmi (southeastern chamber music institute) last week at tennessee tech was a lot of fun.
I met a bunch of crazy new friends, and got to hang out with a few governor's school friends.
while it was only five days long, I'm missing everyone, but I'm sure we'll stay in great touch.
they don't live far.
the music was amazing; the wind ensemble was good, and my quintet was awesome, especially dr. woodworth.
tech is definitely becoming the most realistic option for college- I think I've decided I want to major in woodwind studies, and I absolutely love all of the woodwind professors there, especially dr. martin (flute) and mr. barham (saxophone). the campus is really pretty, and smaller than mtsu, which I like, and I just like the feel of the music department more than I did mtsu's last summer. weston d. and sara are convinced I'm going to end up there. at least I know I'll have a bunch of friends.
oh, and it was pretty entertaining to watch the boys state guys while we were there. :D
illinois' isym is in a couple of weeks, and I'm really excited about that, too.
I'm excited about seeing the campus and working with the professors,
but also being able to go out of state and see different opportunities.
I want to read a book a week, from here on out.
I'm also determined to read the Bible straight through in a year.
oh, and I might be getting a new flute sometime really really soon, :D :D
and begin my calculus summer assignment before the couple of days before school begins.
I'm really excited about ap lit next year for some reason- it looks like we're going to be reading a lot of good literature.
I missed the SAT saturday morning; long story, but I didn't get there,
and I don't think I want to take it- I don't see the point.
it's summer; hit me up if you want to hang! <3
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[13 May 2007|09:09am] |
it's three days away from being over, and I abosolutely could not be more excited for it to be here.
all is good. <3
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[10 Apr 2007|09:12pm] |
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my dad surprised me with a brand new dell laptop today when I got home;
he did something wrong to my previous one,
and since it was really crappy anyway,
and it would have cost a ton of money to fix the already awful thing,
he just replaced it.
I love it. a lot. because it's amazing. <3
now all I need to do is figure out how to get my iTunes library from my old one to my new one.
if anyone knows how to, help, please?
oh, and I got a job!
I start training tomorrow to be a waitress.
today was a good day.
(after school, anyway).
:D :D
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| 2006. |
[21 Jan 2007|11:59pm] |
(also posted to facebook and myspace).
this may be slightly delayed, but this is the first time I've had a chance to sit down and coherently express my thoughts and reflections on this past year. a year ago seems so incredibly far away; so much has happened.
the year 2006 began for me with the pain of a long relationship breaking- something that had truly needed to happen, yet it didn't make anything any easier. relfecting back on everything that occurred during that time period, I want to apologize to the person involved for all of the pain I know that I caused; that wasn't my intention, and I hope he realizes that.
the rest of the school year taught me a lot about the people around me and also myself, and what I want. I may regret actions that I made, things that I said, but everything that happened taught me something new. truthfully, I don't think I would change anything, even if I had the opportunity.
anybody who knows me, knows that my summer was the best summer I have ever, and probably will ever, have, and that it was the most amazing and wonderful experience I have ever been blessed with. I can't even begin to describe how absolutely amazing it was to be surrounded with literally 200 people who are passionate about the same thing I am- the performing arts. friendships and love were developed that will always be there, and anybody who aren't Governor's School 2006 alumn will never be able to fully understand what we went through together. I learned something new everyday about my passion, and it motivates me everyday to work 100% harder at mastering the flute and music in general. I can't do justice to how incredibly fun and fulfilling this summer was. I miss everybody terribly almost everyday, and every single person I met this summer had an impact on my life. to sum up this summer with a couple of favorite quotes:
"attack the music like a mother cheetah hunting food for her cubs."
- phil barham (saxophone professor / jazz band conductor)
"stay away from any cold hands!"
- wind ensemble, weeks 4 and 5
"the interesting thing about music is that sometimes you have to stop and do it again just because it was good. if it feels right, then don't hesitate to do it."
- dr. gary sousa (wind ensemble, weeks 4 and 5)
my junior year started, and at first I felt completely out of place. band camp was my first reality shock- I was back in a music environment, but it didn't feel right; gwen, crystal, jana, jessica, christen, jacob, chris, jenny, jared, chelsea, cody, michael, chewy; no one was there. to glance behind me to the saxophone section and the guys&chelsea to not be making weird faces and comments to eachother was horribly saddening. but once school started and I fell back into somewhat of a pattern, everything started beginning to feel okay again. getting used to a school environment consisting of bells and classes other than music, rather than theory, conducting, and rehearsels that professors dismissed you from took getting used to, but thus is high school.
first semester of junior year was a doozy; I don't think I knew what I was doing, really. it flew by so incredibly quickly, that I look back and I don't know where it went. semester exams were the first time that I buckled down and actually studied, I believe. I did well on all of them, and I'm glad that first semester is over. my new years resolution is to stay focused on all that I need to be focusing on: school, college choices, finding myself with God, and music, most definetely.
I know for a fact that I want to major in music education, I just haven't decided if I want to have a private studio, or bask in the glory of an amazing wind ensemble. I've started a college notebook, where I keep information on all of the colleges that I'm looking into all together in one place. mstu is probably my most realistic option right now, because it's in-state and the scholarships will be better, but ttu is also another realistic one. my dream would be to go out of state, though. illinois university I think is my idealic campus at the moment, and north carolina university is one that I'm looking into after talking with my private teacher yesterday. it's only second semester of junior year, so I'm not too incredibly worried about college yet, but I just wish that I could make up my mind. everytime I think I know what I'm going to do, a new idea pops up, and I run with it. but I'm excited to begin the new chapter in my life, wherever that may happen.
I think I want to have a senior recital next year, but I don't want to have one if just my parents and music teacher(s) are going to come. and they seem like they're a lot of pressure and strenuous on the nerves. I need to start working on that now if I'm going to have one, though. oh, and I think I'm getting a new flute before the summer, and that is freaking amazing and exciting. like, you don't even understand. it will be my baby. :D
there is the possibility for something amazing and really good for me in my future. and it's exciting.
all in all, I don't think I've ever been more thankful for people and friends. I love every single one of them.
goals for this year:
o1. bring my grades up by actually studying? haha.
o2. become the best musician I can be.
o3. God.
o4. friends.
o5. to encompass everything, just stay focused and not become lazy like I have
the horrible tendancy to do.
I'm going to end this huuuuuuge post with a
oh, and if you read all of this, you're my new best friend. seriously. :D :D
<3
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[13 Dec 2006|09:50pm] |
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I watched Pirates of the Caribbean number two for the first time this afternoon,
and I have to say that I'm pretty disappointed.
p.s. exams are no fun.
I'm stressed like whoa. <3
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[06 Nov 2006|11:47pm] |
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the God of all grace,
who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,
after you have suffered a little while,
will restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
-1 Peter 5:10
currently more strength than you could ever know right now.
and the discovery was completely random.
God is amazing.
if you're the praying sort, will you pray for me? thanks. <3
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[21 Sep 2006|04:00pm] |
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I don't think I've felt this good in a long time.
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[01 Sep 2006|03:49pm] |
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this weekend will be absolutely amazing.
chrysalis anyone!?!
and then tuesday is my birthday.
weeeeeeee. :] :]
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[21 Aug 2006|09:03pm] |
uhhhm.
I'm on crutches.
for at least a week.
lame.
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[20 Aug 2006|11:15pm] |
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mood: completely inspired.
goodnight. <3
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[17 Aug 2006|10:59pm] |
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God&me time in the morning is amazing.
and randomely flipping open the Bible at night and seeing a verse relating and strengthening the chat from the morning is really, truly amazing and is proof that God is fantastic.
This is the message you heard from the beginning: love one another.
- 1 John 3 : 11
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love Does not know God because God is love. [...] Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also aught to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.
- 1 John 4 : 7-8 , 11-12
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[15 Jul 2006|08:19pm] |
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I'm home, and I'm sad.
the finale program (both nights) was absolutely amazing.
lastnight involved savoring our memories and latenight packing,
and this morning was closing ceremonies and tears.
I'm so thankful to have been given the opportunity that I was,
and I miss everything already.
if you want to see pictures from the past five weeks,
click the links.
however, if you don't want to look at about fifty pictures,
avoid the links. :]
it was so weird to come home today.
I walked in, and I felt like I was in a dream almost.
it's really weird to walk on carpet again.
and to eat real food,
and to watch television.
and to not have to get out my room key to unlock the door before going into my room.
and I absolutely hate unpacking.
it makes me so sad.
if you looked at all of those pictures,
then you're amazing.
I love you all.
call me this week when / if you're free- I want to see you guys! :]
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[13 Jul 2006|06:52am] |
the next three days will be full of tears.
I don't fully want them to come.
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